in the com lab in school now. just finished another masterpiece. hmms. yesterday i ran 8.5 in the afternoon, i wonder about today. pretty tired. last nite woke up cos my right calf cram like siao. so pain. then i remember my bro say must put my toes upward or something liketat. then the pain stopped. hahas. and i went back to sleep. this morning had sleep-in (means no training) hmms..i'm scared to invite friends 4 movie nite. i dun know what's wrong with me. =(

schools ending now. and i gtg. can't see my tagboard. sad. but at least still can see post and post. bell just rung. cya guys ard!


hmms. Wednesday we went to watch goal. it was okay, except for a few sences. erm, then..ya. during the show, my bro called. so i called him back. he told me that my mum had met with an accident in Malaysia. so i was like okay. i didn't know how to react. but Thank God He taught me lessons through this. like He makes no Mistakes. His way is perfect. I shouldn't take things for granted. how often i've taken my family, God, the blessings from God, God's love and mercy, and many other things all for ganted. i dun think abt them. or thankGod for them. i see them as if i were supposd to have them. also, life is fragile. it can be taken away anytime! are we prepared to meet our LORD?

i'm starting to think that i did it. hahas. but no. it was God who helped me through this great week. i realise that i really can do absoutly NOTHING without Christ. the moment by moment dependance upon God.

ouch, my leg hurts. hope it's not a serious injury, cos i'm looking forward to training. training's fun! thing's which i always thought i couldn't do i can do! like 8 km. ahahas..


hmms.. in school now. in the com lab. having the learning adobe lesson. finish my master piece! yay. it's nice. God will make a way. anyway, tried to upload but can't. cos laggy. hmms, last nite cried myself to sleep. haha. cos ya. have to hand up the name of my roommate tonite. and i dunno. God will make a way. last nite, my sweet kor send me this message. the song God will make a way.,so encouraging..haha. thanks leb.

this is really when i can learn to rest and trust in God. anyway, leaving it all to Him. tmr's my chinese compo and letter writing test. and i'm totally not prepared.

Lord help. help me to look to You always. keep my eyes on You. i thank You and love You. Amen. =D


haha.. okie. i'm much better now. after last nite. thanks ian. after the truth just suddenly clicked in my mind. i do not need to do things based on feelings. like that i will die.haha. CRAZY! cause feelings change and facts do not! =p i made a commitment to GOD to do things cause i have to do it and not to base on wheater i feel like doing or not. i think it will be hard in the beginning. but i'll TRY. and with GOD's help, i CAN! =0)

kae, in for a new week at school! Dad's gone to Phillippines for a week. this week is the 1st week of Module 8. chinese comp and letter writing test on Wednesday. argh. how? dunno. English test this week. yays! goanna watch GOAL on wednesday. cause the whole school going together to causeway to watch goal. dunno weather it's good..checked christian movie spotlight, they dun have comments on that movie.

school. school, here i go!!!


Do you ever feel like breaking down? sure
Do you ever feel out of place? sometimes
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you yups
Do you ever wanna runaway? maybe
Do you lock yourself in your room? no
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else? maybe
Are you sick of feeling so left out? dunno
Are you desperate to find something more? sure, that abundant life
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate? no
Are you sick of everyone around? no
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies no
While deep inside you're bleeding no

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like


i'm like so guilty. cos i'm blogging secretly. hahas.. in maths class now..Miss Kelly issn't here. everyone's on the com..

hmm..
yesterday was a hard day. but i started anew today! =) i guess. it happened like this. the thought came, lead to me believeing. lead to me then living it out. man!

found this poem on the Web. doing poems for Engilsh next module..hahas..

Inspirational Poems

Draw nigh to God
(by Connie Campbell Bratcher)

When death comes nigh our dwelling
Everything stops - time stands still.
We're pliable in God's hands
As we submit to His will.
Oh, if we'd just draw that close
In the day of prosperity...
Be still, listen, seek His will,
Prepare for eternity...
Our God would bless us indeed;
His Spirit would be poured out,
Reaching far beyond ourselves,
Impacting this world throughout.
If we'd just Draw Nigh to God.

"Draw nigh to God and He will draw nigh to you..."(James 4:8)

http://www.poems-and-poetry.com/inspirational-poems/draw-nigh-to-god.htm


yays!!! i'm in school now. in Geog class. cos some pple left for OBS then my class left 9 pple. lolx..Geog teacher let us use com and slack. =) anywae, this few days not that bad. goanna finish Micah soon. 1 think 1 more chapter. i gtg for history class now. haha. :)


God have not promised,
skies always blue,
flowers-strewn pathways,
all our lives through.

God have not promised,
sun without rain,
joy without sorrow,
peace without pain.

God have not promised,
we shall not know,
fail and temptation,
trouble and woe.

He have not told us,
we shall not bear,
many a burden,
many a care.

But God have promised,
strength for the day,
rest for the labourers,
light for the way.
Grace for the trials,
help from above,
unfailing sympathy,
undying love.


wow. another week has passed. many things happened. so much to post about. hope i don't miss out anything...here we gooooooooo!

Sunday
Went to school pretty early. Celebrated Divya's birthdae..it was fun..hahas. went back up to dorm at ard 9.50pm. took a quickk shower, washed up and went to bed.

Monday
Can't say i always look forward to morning trainings. just that this whole week been really tired. so lartigic. morning is like can't wake up for training. so i did oh ya. outside training. round a hill which is 800 metres per loop. did 6 rounds. then had all the funny itchy witchy bites after that. had christian fellowship at night. that night they were sharing the gospel. so i went to see see. wow.i can sae. the worship is fun. cool exciting. whatever. but i personally dont think i would be able to truly worship God with my heart soul mind and strength with like jumping about and all those stuff. this is a personal preference. the worship went like this. we started with songs. we had the electric guitar, drums and piano. started with the song ONe Way. at the chorous part. everybody started jumping abt. then Worthy is the Lamb. it's a nice song.
i like it. nice lyrics too.

Worthy Is The Lamb

Thank You for the cross Lord
Thank You for the price You paid
Bearing all my sin and shame
In love You cameAnd gave amazing grace

Thank You for this love Lord
Thank You for the nail-pierced hands
Washed me in Your cleansing flow
Now all I knowYour forgiveness and embrace

Worthy is the Lamb
Seated on the throne
Crown You now with many crowns
You reign victorious

High and lifted up
Jesus, Son of God
The darling of heaven crucified
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb

Oh the blood of Jesus
Oh the blood of Jesus
Oh the blood of Jesus
It washes white as snow

yup. that's Worthy is the Lamb. then we also sang Still. a very nice song too.

Still

Hide me now
Under Your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty hands

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are King Over the flood
I will be still and know You are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust

Tuesday
oh, had rest in the afternoon so went to recrational room to do hw. haha. i'm so proud of myself.i told myself that i would go and play games, and i didn't! haha. got back my chinese cloze passage test marks back. i failed as expected. haha. 9/20 okay. i had 2/10 for my cloze. it was the writing out the answer part which pulled up my marks. didn't understand the question so i bracked the whole paragrah. at my answer there, i wrote" Refer to ( )". haha. am i pro or pro?


you know what. haha. i know how to access blogs with the school com though they blocked it. haha.yays! so now i can access blogs.

pls pray with me about my roommate decision for next year. it's either my present room mate, amanda lau or anthea. i really dunno.

Wednesday
can't remember much. just know was pretty down. din't wanna tell anyone. cos i hate to discourage other people. i think i stopped reading the Word today. had no time. ya rite! actucally if i wanted to i could have made time. so many times, i have just so many excuses just not to spend that preious time with God.

Thursday
hmm. didn't have afternoon training today so i went to rec room again. this time i played! datona 2. pretty fun.

you know what?

there's seriously something wrong with me. there's a part of me always longing for that high feeling and when it's not there, i'm down. yet there's a part of me which knows that that time will come when it comes. i can't force the high. and a christian's character is really seen during the times where there is nothing special going on. the ordinary times. Melody!!! argh...i get so down cos of this. and i'm so stuck. then i give myself excuses when i wanna worship to lift my soul. i always can't think of a song. i get stuck.

Friday
dissapointed with myself. wanted to share the Gospel with Kristine. but. i was wating for that high feeling. the time where i can feel the Spirit is with me. NO.THIS IS ALL WRONG!! i don't need to feel the Spirit. He is there for me ALWAYS. see what i mean. one part of me wants this. the other part knows what's right. so i went for teens worship. then like Ian preached on discouragement. Luke 10:38-42. about Mary and Martha. when Ian asked, " are you discouraged? are you tired? are you lartagic?" i was like SO YES..haha.. you see, i really need help with this feeling thing.

I remember a friday night where the Spirit of God really opened my eyes to my problem with feeling and facts. but now.... i'm back to square 1..

sighs. i need help!!

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