today i found it had to love..found myself rebelling so much on the inside.. all started when i came back from trng.. but first, i wanna say a huge thank you to Yvonne for waiting for me just now during the run. sorry if i slowed you down. don't know what's up with me, can you wake up, MEL! giving up is not an option. i can't commit to what i say i will do at trng. oh, Lord help. the Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. forgive me LORD, help me to love. all started when i came back from trng. got irrated with them. it's my life, it's between me and God. who are you to tell me what to do? anyway, how often do i get to do it? arghh.. then went to cut hair and i also got so angry and irrated with the hair dresser. first you get so obsessed with that stupid instrument then you use it on my hair like a thousand times.. my hair get shorter and shorter then you nicely over there using your beloved instrument. thankfully it was more of this shaver thing then a scissors if not by now i bo tak already. then really Thank GOD that my hair can still tie lor.. so short amazing can tie. i look wierd now. lols.. deciding whether to go for BS tonite.. got hw haven't done yet and i'm not sure if i can find another time to do it.. argh..

GOD, please help me. i need You. Your love. Your strength. Your grace. :)

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